Thursday, July 8, 2010

Barney Butter Giveaway

Not sure if anyone reads this but Anne with is offering an almond butter giveaway! Not just any almond butter, BARNEY BUTTER! I have never tried it but I do love almond butter so I am sure I will if I win. Go stop by and check out how to enter the contest!

New Book

A couple of months ago, a friend suggested I read a book called Women, Food, and God by Geneen Roth. I love to read so I added it to my list of must reads. It has taken me until now to start this journey.

My friend, Ashleigh, and I have been struggling with losing weight for several years now. We have gained and lost several times but nothing seems to be the magic thing to work for good. She started to read this book and said this might be the key to keeping the weight off forever.

 So I am on pg 29 and I thought I would keep a note on my thoughts throughout the book....

So far what I know about this book is that it will help evaluate where the eating problems began. When did I start eating too much and why? Where did the negative body image come from and how do I stop it? The author states this is the key to ending your fight with food. The key to losing weight is to STOP DIETING...

I knew this was a key idea throughout college. I went to school for Health Management and I know that in order to make something last for life you have to make it a lifestyle change instead of a temporary diet. Make the changes necessary but do so in a way that you can maintain for life and live with.

But finding the root problem that I solve by eating is harder than I thought. I have to deal with my feelings instead of just eating them? Roth states that eating when we aren't physically hungry is a way to fill the hunger for another need that isn't being met. That is so true in my life. I love to cook and especially love to cook for the ones I love and show that I care by preparing a meal; creating an excuse to bring others close to me with the reward of something delicious to put in their mouth. In some ways, I feel like that is the easiest way to bring someone close to me and accept me. When that meal is finished, I need to create another to feel that satisfaction of being accepted again.

So why do I want to lose weight?
Because I see thin, fit people and the beauty their life seems to attract. I want to lose weight because I see something and someone I have always wanted to be but have never had the discipline to reach.  When I look in the mirror it does not match the person I see in my head. The person I could be if I were thinner.  I feel like my past romantic relationships would have been better and less hurtful if I hadn't been the size I am. I would have felt better about myself and in turn they would have felt differently about me as well. I feel like others will accept me and want to be around me more if I were smaller.

In answering that question, I found that I just want to be accepted and I already know my greatest fear is rejection.  I think this stems from the fact that in the past, two of the most important romantic relationships ended in him telling me he either doesn't love me or never loved me the way he should... When I put all of myself into those relationships, to have them say they didn't love me ever was a hard blow... And in trying to find something to fill that void they left in my life, I turned to food.

Even rereading this statement makes me sad and lonely. I have buried these feelings of rejection for years and with the most recent break up have buried that and claimed to be fine. I actually believed it until I slip and then those feelings come rushing back. I have decided before I allow myself to enter back into a relationship, I need to heal my own wounds instead of constantly trying to fill them with hobbies, food, people and things that can all go away in an instant and leave me with a gaping wound again...

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Hmm, hmmm ... HMMMM!

That is me clearing my throat and admitting it has been over A YEAR!!! since I last posted anything on this blog... I don't think anyone reads it anyway but I still feel like a failure in this blog. No worries though. I am jumping back in today with both feet....

Since last year at this time I have lost 14lbs... Not quite the 50 I was going for this past year but it is progress nonetheless! Most of this weight loss was acheived by modifications in my eating habits. I have also tried to be more active on and off (to be honest more off than on), but as I learned in school appearance is 80% diet, 10% physical activity, and 10% genetics.

Goals for this next year will include training for a triathalon. I am not sure when I will actually sign up for one but my goal is to start training. I love swimming and biking, but running has never been my strong point. I have always wanted to be a runner but have never put the effort into acheiving that goal; so here is the beginning of my new goal.  I am currently researching training programs and new bikes. I would like to have enough money for a bike by September but I am not sure if that is going to happen just yet. We shall see!

That is all for now. I am going to try to be better about keeping this up to date this year because if I do happen to get any readers, I could use all the support I can get!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Making an Example

Well I figure there is no better way to teach than to be the example. I am not the greatest example as of right now but I am working on it so if anyone wants to join in with me this is going to be my first week of training for my new body. Yes, that sounds cheesy but I have to start somewhere and as of right now, I am 50 pounds over my suggested weight according to BMI standards. That sounds really overwhelming at first but I am going to break those 50lbs down into smaller goals. My first goal is to lose 15lbs to kick start my weight loss by July 9th. That is a little over a month away. In order to reach my goal, I need to eat under 1,400 calories per day.

To keep myself on track I am using a food journal on my IPod touch and I am also currently enrolled in Weight Watchers. I wanted to try it and see what its all about and overall it is a great program for anyone who has no idea where to start. For someone like me who has a working knowledge of nutrition, its too easy to cheat the system of WW. I am using the combination of both their point method and calorie counting to keep myself in check.

My workouts are something I haven't been able to decide on. I am not in good shape and haven't worked out strenuously in quite sometime but when I do workout I tend to overdo it and my workouts are far and few between. I am going to try a new tactic this week since last week, when I was supposed to start my workouts, I didn't do anything at all. My major problem is that my best and favorite time to workout is right in the middle of my work day at 10 or 11AM. I am no longer tired from the morning and not too distracted from the evening. Unfortunately, my work hours are not adjustable, so I am going to have to set myself a new routine. I am going to wake up 30 min earlier and go for a walk/run, come home and eat breakfast and shower to be out the door by 7:15. Let me note, this means I have to wake up at 5:30AM. I can do it but it is definately going to take some getting used to. Then, after work at 5PM I am going to go for a 10 min walk to warm up and then do about 35 min of weight training. I have a plan I got off of that is a 45 day plan to get in shape and I also have the P90x system. I am going to intially use the 45 day plan to work into a routine. After 30 days, I will add some of the P90x videos. At the end of the 45 days, I will switch completely over to the P90x system and work solely on that plan for 90 days. Overall, this means my transformation should be complete by November 1st, 2009. I HAVE TO STICK WITH THIS! I can use all of the encouragement I can get. If anyone wants to do this with me, please let me know and I will post all of the workouts and routines I will be using for the weeks. If I don't get anyone to do it with me, I will be flying solo and won't post every single thing I did but you will still get to hear me complain:) and I hope someone will at least hold me accountable because I am 25 years old and I'm not getting any younger. Now is the time in my life when I don't have any other responsibilities to lose this weight and finally feel great about myself! Wish me luck!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


WELCOME!! This is my first time blogging so I am not going to get into the nitty gritty of fitness on my first time out. If anyone has any questions, please post them as comments and I will do my best to answer them in a timely manner. To give you a history of my background I am now a fitness professional. I just graduated from Southeast Missouri State University with a Bachelor's Degree in Health Promotion. I work in a bank currently but that is just to pass the time and pay the bills. My true passion is fighting the obesity battle using exercise and nutrition. I am a wealth of knowledge and if I don't know the answer to your question, I will work hard to find it. I can direct you to more resources as well. Together we will fight the battle of the bulge!